explanations

i keep looking for explanations... feeling the desire to provide them - to this friend, to that parent, to myself.

and solutions - sheesh, don't even get me started.

i'll just say this: 
we each have it within ourselves. 
everything. 
galaxies full of love and life and - well... everything.


trying out some of the new blogger settings... maybe i'll change it again.  in a minute.  and again after that.  we'll just have to see.  this one helped me breathe.  just for one second, i imagined myself there, and a weight lifted.

that's all any of this is, really...  my perception, my reaction, my assessment and labeling of where i am, how i feel about it, what i think is happening...  so, for today, i think i'll try to just breathe that sigh of relief when things seem heavy, as they have lately.  i'll just close my eyes, even if only for a blink, and take myself there - to a field, sitting in the dew, embraced by a thick fog, hearing the earth yawn as she begins her day, waiting for the sun to make that first stretch and peek over...

it's funny how everything is so different in the morning. the leaves on the palms are golden. the air feels so pure. even the lake is so settled, there's not a ripple to be found...
 
 

 
futuret, the next few weeks and months of writing will be frustrating to go back and reread.  i'm gonna be working on some things here.  mostly the existential crisis that i'm sludging through... consider that your fair warning...

also, you're going to have to excuse the gratuitous overuse of ellipsis...